Douchebaggery is a Spectral Trait

Like Autism and Bowel Disorders, Douchebaggery is a spectral enhancement, not a finite term. There are degrees of Douchebaggery and they hail from all walks of life. We celebrate them all, whether you are a white male of privilege, an asexual ambidextrous dyslexic, or a gravitationally enhanced lemur-identified he-female.

Having said all this, we acknowledge there are three main phenotypes of Douchebaggery:

Douchebags

Standard issue Douchebag. Male. Doesn't have to be corporate. Douchebags come from all economic levels. But mostly here, we're speaking to you Corporate Douchebags.

One of the loneliest things about being a Douchebag is not finding devotions or reflections written for you. It's no easy task being a Douchebag.

Even the most focused Douche needs moments of reflection: while taking a dump, watching Opening Bell, or making an inferior's life hell. 

Let's face it, they're all inferiors.


In your darkest hours, remember:

Douchebags aren't just born, they're made.™

Douchebaguettes

LGTBQ Douches

We haven't forgotten you, Douchebaguettes. It's no less lonely for you, reviled by both men and your "sisters." 

While the current lingua franca precludes calling you "Douchebags," we hope our project will change all that. In the meantime, we've feminized your name. 

Let's face it, if we call you Douchebags too, the mincy whiners will say we're denying your womanitude. If we call you Douchebaguettes, we're setting you apart from Douchebags, diminishing you and your power. 

But the She-Douche, He-Douche, and even the S/He-Douche (we acknowledge, we don't judge) all have their unique issues. 

Insofar as we give a steamy about anyone's issues, we offer the gender-free term "Douche" which may be applied by all and sundry. Douchebags and Douchebaguettes may use the term too, but we wanted to have a non-sexual-gender-specific term for all.

Your needs are unique. Underlings will react differently to your Douchebaggery because of societal norms which offer the mistaken theory that the Disenfranchised will naturally be more  "sensitive." 

We will help you win that battle.

In order not to privilege Lesbians or Trans or Gay Douches and so on, we'll shift the letters in the acronym around randomly. 

Honestly, who can remember the order anyway?