Divide et impera (Divide and conquer)
-- Latin saying
Feeling bullied by all those pesky flies: your colleagues and inferiors? Are you tired of people telling you to be sensitive and respectful?
You have a job to do! This is not the time for walking on eggshells. Roads weren't built by golden feathers and unicorn laughter.
Powerhouses are built on the blood, sweat, toil and tears of others. There is a time for whimsy, and a time to get shit done.
Think of David and Goliath. People may say you are Goliath because you are such a Douchebag (well done, you!), but you are actually David. David was a winner. Goliath was the bully and you are NOT a bully. You are driven. Focused.
Goliath was a grousing little gripe who got in the way. Goliath is the conglomeration of all those whiny people you deal with every blessed day, banding together to bring you down. They are the tail trying to wag the dog. The solution is simple:
Divide and conquer. Find the weakest link.
Get out your slingshot and five smooth stones, and let 'er rip. Pit one against the other (misdirection). See who cracks.
Drive the wedge deeper.
This week's devotion points:
Did we say suck? That's not very professional. What we meant to say was forms a vacuum.
You know what a vacuum is don't you? It is a space devoid of matter. Sorta. Let's try that again.
It's a relationship between gaseous pressure (you know what that is) and atmospheric pressure (you definitely know what that is).
Feeling it now? Get it? GET IT?
Your corporate climate sucks. You fix it when you raise the gaseous pressure. That means you heighten the bullsh*t (aka gaseous pressure). Bigger gas, bigger vacuum.
It's so simple. Spin that web, Douches. Spin it.
Failing that. Buy a mug and leave it on your desk to show your solidarity (well, gaseousness).
And remember, no matter how much your corporate culture sucks, there is always a little bit of dark matter remaining.
Use it to your benefit. Suck harder. Faster. Deeper. What makes gas? More shit. That's right. Shovel it on thick. Your culture sucks but it always could suck more. Make 'em dance!
Dare to give 110%.
About Our Blog
Just because you're a Douchebag doesn't mean your company or your personal life is profitable.